i want a job that not need to meet to any piece of humans :i
and then i will never ask mom anything for my things and not have to deal with the angry ogre anymore
i have to be good after all
for having those things
those parents who would be mean to the kiddos and make the kiddos not able to ask something, they shouldn't made the kiddos from the beginning
and if me would say these, they just would think me is such an arrogant one or like that
maybe others too
but i think me is nothing bad
because there is no rule that we all kiddos must thank to the parents and be good and help them or like that
if they made me for those, then that is too bad that they made like this failed product
those parents who would made the kiddos feel they are failed product is already failed product
the parents are the failed human beings
that is why this kind of creatures would be born from them
there is many many kiddos who cannot have anything more than me and treated bad by the parents than me i know
i feel so very sorry to those creatuers
those kiddos parents would make the kiddos feel they are the failed product and useless
but those parents are really bad creatures
but sadly the parent's parent also did same thing mostly to them i guess
or just this world made them like that
i think this is really a sad thing
i know me cannot do anything very well and be useful for this world
cannot meet to the humans and be normal with them
even cannot have any communication with humans on the internet
and i am just a failed product, useless, worthless, then what others would think about me as
Just a trash
Trash
Who should leave from the world
I have no place in this world because me is this
But this is me
I couldn't be like others and do same thing like many of others do in this world and think it is the normal and must things
I don't think there is have to things or must things that much in this world
as like the parents not think they must take care of the creation they made forever until they can do
They always think the kiddos would be an adult and flying from the nest
but some kiddos cannot do those things
because of many reasons
some are just scared to flying from there
some are tried a lot and got hurt and not want to flying from the nest anymore again
some are just feel peace in the nest most and wish to stay there forever
many many reasons for the creatures who would be there
but those parents would push them to go from there
or scare them that not give you food, not give you what you want, just have it by yourself
when they became an adult, those parents would be like that mostly
I don't understand those things
and why it is the common thing
then this world is really a cold world
but me is the one who would wants to fly from this nest
this is why I would want to have my person
I want to find my nest where I don't have to leave from there anymore until the death
My parents are old too
They would leave from me if I could live longer
so after all they cannot be with me forever
maybe this is one of the reason the parents would want the kiddos to find the way to live in this world alone or be with somebody or be strong
but I cannot be strong enough for living in this world
Fight
fight in this world
it makes me very sad to imagine the things
i cannot talk
i am scared of the humans
i don't want to talk
i cannot be myself
i have to be another one
but it is really difficult for me most of the time
but there is no place where allow me to be me and me able to working
i don't know what should i do when i felt sad or those kind of feelings
because those are too strong and i cannot stand with it
i would want to run so soon
then what others would tell me
all others feel those too, but they fight for living
and i would say, then i want to die
then they would say, then go die
i think so too
someone like me never can live in this world well
so had better to just go kill myself
i even not believe so deeply about somebody would help me too
because all they have their own life and me is just a trash
who cares about such one
they just would tell me, there is no sweet world
you just want to be lazy
you just avoid all the things you don't want
then you have no permission to live in this world
i hear those things in my head
i know what others would think about me
it is what i think too
why someone like me have to think these and feel trashes
just because cannot live well like others
i am not wish to be lazy
if i can, i wanted to do the things
but i think i cannot find any meaning to do those things
because it hurts me
makes me sad
makes me sad and hurt and have something
i don't need it
what i want is not feel those things in this world and avoid and live peacefully
i don't want to see scary things
scary humans
not want to meet to scary humans who would angry at me
many suicide themselves because felt those
somebody would let them feel they are useless and worthless
and always they yell at them
and everyday go there
and then have moneys
is that really worth thing
i cannot think so
and those suicide humans also thought so i think
what they are doing
if they were someone who has no dreams, and even cannot have partner who they can love
they would feel so much despair in such a cold place
many dying by such things
why they live
is that for having a lot of hurts, stress sadness?
no
they wanted happiness
alllllllll want it
ALL WANT happiness
and they all deserve the happiness
there is many creatures or almost that who is not worth i give a happiness
but those humans also deserve happiness
this world is not good world
i feel sorry to the humans who has to do those things today
and live
and feel bad in their life
if there was no happiness in their life, they would get depressed
they want happiness and feel those
nobody live for feel bad in this world
now i still have the parents and able to live in this world
but there is many who cannot depend on anybody and live alone and feel those stress and sadness everyday
it must be so very terrible days
and i can image many humans dying
if there is no meaning for living in this world, they cannot live so strong
if there was no hobbies, their likes, they cannot live so strong
i hear everyday my mother's sigh
and complain about the things a lot
about the dad, brother, me, for everything
I hate it
i am tired
my head feels strange
Chichiko is always cute
Nowadays i put her next to me and showing the things which i am watching
and watch together the screen
i wouldn't show Jason killing scene though
like amazon items, and youtube videos
and the things i am searching and reading
she also seeing them with me
before i put her in bad place always and she couldn't see anything very well i think
i hope she is enjoying somewhat with me
i like hughug her
but when i am not clean enough, i feel a bit bad to hughug her
because i never want to make her messy
she never can take a shower too
but she is very cute today too, that wearing a cute cat hat and wearing some cat thing
daisuki chichiko 🐣🐻⛄