I want to meet a person who wouldn't make my anxiety 

Won't lie 

Explain all neatly which I want to know 

Who would care about me neatly 

Who I can understand who is the person 

And want a good change in my life 

Not want to wish the death and live 

But I don't care me die today 

Because I'm very tired for everything 

Have those hope and live is like an idiot 

But then how to live in this world 

Which I feel bad most of the time 

But if I give up and won't try anything which I can do 

It would be just worse

I never stopped to try to do skin care and those things even if I would say those things 

Because I think in me, still want to believe something 

Even if it seems too black and cannot see anything

Everyday have to crying 

Someday maybe I could see real bright thing which would give me a smile a lot 

Can feel something from it

Warm 

I want to be wrapped by the warm and feel me is safe 

No more need to be alone and feel scary and sad feelings in the warm 

Finally 

I never felt me is safe with anybody 

Me is really protected 

Have my place 

Hard to trust a human 

My fingers still moving 

So I can type these

Someday, my fingers won't move 

But now I can

What we feel it's normal 

It will ends someday

And it was not normal thing 

I will see again 

If I change the brain gear to another way

I can understand me is enough happy

And shouldn't be sad so much

Me is greedy about my dream and the life 

But it's freedom

To have any dreams they want to have in their life 

They can want whatever they want even if they cannot have it 

I want so very much

But rather I need so very much than want 

There is many things I want in this world if I say what I want 

I want to eat tapioka softcream and so on

But it is not what I need 

I need my person 

Because in this world, I feel me is someone who has no legs also even cannot have a stick to stand up and walking without my person 

Some humans able to live alone and not mind about it 

But it is because they can live with it 

I think some humans can never live without their person too

Some killing themselves after the person's death too

If my person would die tomorrow

I want my person to bring me together with 

I want end with my person too 

I never want my person to leave me alone in this world 

I cannot live alone in this world 

Even if others would tell you are strong, you can do, try it

I cannot is I cannot 

Or how many hurts do I have to have in this world 

How many scary things I have to see in this world 

I don't want

I cannot find any value to have the hurts in this world 

It is enough 

I want to avoid the hurts and pain in this world 

Especially by the humans 

They can hurt me easily 

Scare me so easily 

They seem strong than me 

I feel me is too weak in this world

But I don't want to feel bad just because I cannot do same thing like others 

I already felt enough bad feelings 

Because others made me feel bad about what I cannot do

And because of the age too

I don't have so much experiences more than many humans in this world

But I also think not need to have the experiences too 

I don't know why do I should have hurts and they can call it as experiences too

Used to have hurts is what they say I should do in this world for living 

Why it is a bad that hiding from the scary things and avoid 

But I know me is weak 

And cannot fight 

But I don't want to fight 

I need a help

Many humans said something to me about what I want and need

But I don't think it is a bad thing to need a help from one person 

Because I never would force someone to help me or ask me to help me 

I'm waiting for my person because of it too

Because I say what I need and want 

So they can know what I want and needing in my life 

And if they don't like it or think it's a bad thing, then just leave me alone

But some couldn't do such easy thing and told me the things which hurts me over and over again 

Humans will need what they really need in their life naturally

I have to feel sad a lot 

Because I'm needing a very difficult thing in this world but I cannot have 

I am not regret about it 

And won't change anymore about those 

Because I know what I need in my life in me deeply 

I can never have friends 

It is not what I need 

I don't need the "s"

A friend 

My person is my only one friend, lover, family, everything for me 

My person have my life 

Me and chichiko and my person body is same 

I want like that person who I can feel so deeply 

Me and chichiko is same 

She lives in me always 

My person lives in me