There is something always gives me a light

If there was something which would gives me a deep despair

It means there is a deep light 

So much sadness and suffer 

It means there is so much happiness and peace 

Bad things won't be forever as well 

What I need is live now 

I don't live in so much bad place now 

But when I would think the bad happens, often those thoughts stamp me to the ground and I cannot stand up very well 

Because of a lot of fears 

But even if I would feel those and think, I cannot do anything now 

So it's bad to think 

It just makes my fears big 

And cannot enjoy anything 

Even if there is something happiness or joy things in front of me

I cannot see those 

If those fears covering me so much 

What I know is I had today is not normal 

I feel the death is very close to me always 

My death is not the fears so much 

Around me 

The death of around me 

It is my fears 

But I don't want to die with pains too 

I'd I would die 

At least wanted to have a peace death if I could select the way of my end 

I never can know

Why there is the live 

If there is the end

I don't like it 

Many humans died today

Even if they had a lot of hope 

By a sick, by an accident and so on 

And someone like me still alive 

Life is very unfair 

So very cruel from the beginning

I want to die next to my person 

It is my happiness to meet to my person 

Just know there is like that person 

And it is enough for me 

Even if I cannot do anything or see or something 

I think it's enough 

I don't regret anything 

I always feel I lived enough 

28 is too long 

In the old age, it is not normal to live until 28 too

Many starved and lost the life when they were younger 

I lived so long 

This is not a normal thing that I have the number 28 

Live today is miracle thing for me 

If I could keep having this thoughts, maybe I can treat my life more good a bit 

Sometimes just breathing is hard thing for me 

Because of the anxiety and so on I think 

So I can know 

Breathing normally is not a normal thing 

Walking with two legs is not a normal thing too 

Because there is many who cannot walk with the two legs in this world 

Nothing is normal 

All are miracle thing what happening in this world 

Have the tomorrow too 

It never can be normal to have the tomorrow

But I had today too 

But I don't want to live like this is true 

Because I am afraid of something everyday 

But what I think before sleep is 

I could survive today too