now i watched this and noticed this is a bit too grotesque more than i thought
somehow today, i feel grotesque a lot from these kind of things
and those a bit scare me
but i just thought why the humans would be together so long who they know it cannot be good or cannot get along and they can see
some humans keep them
like friends or like that
and some humans just want friends and forever friends
and not planing to be their lover or like that at all
but the another one felt something like that feelings towards to the friend and want to be like that
lovelove together
but would be rejected
i think friend and then a lover is not so good thing
they should decide what they want and need in their life
and stop those wishy-washy strange things
i will never be friends with anybody
because it is not what i want and need
friends are just troublesome things too
i think other humans are very very messy
me is not messy about those things i feel
but those humans would start to be like me when they are became old
suddenly
they just want to playing when they are young
but i always wished to have a person who i can be together forever and can feel something from
i didn't wish to have any past which is meaningless or just give me a hurt a lot in me
i want a power to meet to only my person
or just can see only my person
then i don't have to have any messy things or any past things anymore never again i think
it is very difficult to have forever thing
the certain thing
which i want
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