I watched some videos and when I see the little kiddos it reminds me that me was like them too

Wave the hand to the gasoline stand persons always and said byebye after dad got the car oil from them and then they gave me wave and smile too

I was glad those 

Now I cannot believe 

Why me was like that 

But I didn't know there is many scary humans 

And I didn't have to think they would be disgusted by me or like that at all those times 

Maybe that is why I could do those things without think anything

But when I'm growing meet to many humans in the school and so on and could learn many things 

If I didn't meet to anybody like them and just could grow without knowing anything that much 

I still could be like that 

But I'm scared too

Because those adults are scary humans 

And not sure if they were really good or not so much 

But I didn't think they are bad at all

And when they smile and seems nice, they are all good in me 

Because I think I liked humans 

But now they are scary 

I didn't want to know scary humans or someone who would hurt me 

Wanted to know only good humans 

And live in this world

Even if I would trust and believe that person is good 

They showed scary side or monster side 

It scared me a lot 

Even if I be this age, I have a trauma now 

Because met to a scary person 

But I cannot think they are bad humans very well sometimes 

And I cannot protect myself from those creatures very well 

Until it's too late 

I'm scared

Because they all have scary mind or gross mind 

What I see was that 

Every humans are scary to me 

Chichiko is not scary 

I'm cried again 

I don't like humans who will be kind and after that show the monster side 

It is what do to little kiddos too 

I hate those creatures 

They are very scary 

This is why I cannot trust the humans too

Those humans trying to use my feelings 

I believe soon soemtiems too 

But it was not a bad thing 

Bad is the creatures who'd use those and try to do bad things to me 

I feel very sad 

When I would believe that person is a good or nice to me

Then they try to do something which would hurt me 

Or scare me 

There was like that person 

I don't like that I cannot protect myself alone very well sometimes 

But f I don't involved with anybody strange humans, it can be okay

I want my person 

And feel safe and peace and never meet to those kind of humans 

I don't want to get hurts never again 

I cannot decide by myself often 

I want to have more strong mind and fight in this world alone until my person would help me 

My person is only human who I can trust and my person won't scare me and not do something which would hurts me or scares me 

Not have scary mind and thoughts too 

My person will watch good movies with me too and play games 

And go outside with me 

And see the nature 

My person hold my hand 

And me not have to be scared in the outside 

My person is someone who I can feel happy just see the grass together and feel the same air

So happy

I like my person 

Somehow I feel sad now 

I dont want to be scared so much in this world

Somehow many things are too scary for me most of the time 

It's very difficult to be like others and deal with the things alone 

Even me is like this age 

Only the age increasing every years 

It scares me too 

I cannot feel me is 28 years old in me 

Maybe the body is 86 years old 

(´・n・｀)